The Dyke Whisperer

For what are we thankful? Make an actual or mental list. Reflect on it and consider how fortunate we really are.

For whom are we thankful? We know. Let’s call them, e-mail them, and tell them.

When is it time to be thankful? Always. Thanksgiving is just an annual reminder. We shouldn’t take our fortune, friends, and loved ones for granted. Ever.

How often should we be thankful? Whenever we’re breathing.

How should we demonstrate our thankfulness? With grace and gratitude, love and respect, goodwill and compassion.

This is war. People have taking our rights from us in California. We must fight back. We must not become hysterical or violent. We must fight with our dollars.

I invite you to access the Proposition 8 Donor Database. It was compiled By Richard Dalton, a computer-assisted reporting specialist, for the Associated Press. I urge you to boycott the businesses owned by those that supported Prop 8 and promote discrimination against gays and lesbians.

We’re fighting for equality and our families. Keep that in mind when you decide where to vacation, what hotel chain to patronize, and which restaurants to visit. If our enemies want to deprive us of marriage, the least we can do is deprive them of our dollars — all of our dollars.

Unfortunately, we can’t depend on GLAAD and HRC to lead us in our struggle. Obviously, the leaders of these two groups were sleeping when our enemies were plotting, amassing, and strategically leading an assault on us. We still need to support these well-meaning groups, but we need to light a fire under their collective asses and assume individual responsibility if we are to attain the equality guaranteed us under The Constitution.

Fight because it’s the right thing to do. Fight with all your passion. Fight with grace and dignity. Fight with your cash and credit cards. Fight because they’ve given us no choice.

Although rejection hurts — it really hurts — we must realize that at least we have achieved closure where one woman is concerned.

Of course, it is difficult to think rationally with a wounded heart so that conclusion may take some time to reach.

If she doesn’t want you, that means you are free to pursue other women and free to give your heart to someone who will accept it. Look at it as a beginning for you, not an ending.

Resist the petty and harmful urges to retaliate. It’s over. Let go. You are intact. Your pride may be damaged, but you are whole — even though it might not feel that way.

You will love again.

It is despicable to lie to and deceive a close friend. Any woman who would stab a friend in the back for sex is worthless.

Any woman who would stab a friend in the back for any reason is worthless.

Relationships that begin amid lies and deception tend to end amid lies and deception.

Sometimes, a simple text message can make someone’s day. Be sure to send them out to your loved ones and be sure to appreciate these small but significant messages liberally. You never know when one is going to make someone smile on a particularly dark day.

There are times in life when we are assholes. We might not be raging assholes, but we’ll say or do something that hurts another’s feelings.

Assessing blame is irrelevant.

Say that you’re sorry — even if it doesn’t fix the situation or nullify what you did. Say you’re sorry because it’s the right and decent thing to do.

In California — a state with a large gay and lesbian population — we have been declared to be second-class citizens.

In California – a popular destination state for gays and lesbians on vacation — we have had our rights stripped from us.

There is something fundamentally, completely, and profoundly wrong with putting the rights of a minority up to a majority vote. If this were being done to almost any other minority, people would riot because of how un-American it is.

Let’s not be blind here. There’s much work to do.

It seems as if Florida and Arizona will pass bans on gay marriage. Arkansas will pass a ban on the adoption of children by gays. As of this writing, we still don’t know what’s going to happen with Proposition 8 in California.

Equality for all Americans. Don’t rest, don’t relax, don’t sleep easy — until we all have the same rights under the same flag.

This is the start, not the end.

Fate. Coincidence. Circumstance. Something even bigger, more encompassing, more powerful.

Or is it our egos that convince us that there are definite “signs” and multiple indicators that are pointing us in a certain direction and towards a certain person?

Sometimes, we get a second chance. Maybe even a third one. Maybe we get a second chance at a first chance, if we’re truly lucky.

I think I’m starting to sound like a country-western song now.

Yes, we’ve all heard about. We’ve all made fun of it. We’ve all experienced it.

Most of the time, it’s a gigantic pain in the ass. Sometimes, though, it causes us to open our eyes and reflect on the past and change courses for the future. Sometimes, it brings us home.