Benign Stalking
Dear Dyke Whisperer, Last week, when I was in the cafeteria at work, I saw a woman at the coffee station. Our eyes locked briefly, and she smiled at me. I’m think she may be gay. I can’t get her out of my mind. What should I do?
PB in Tampa
Dear PB,
Be at the coffee station every work day. Try to arrive at the cafeteria a little earlier than usual and loiter a bit. Don’t make it obvious. She works at the same place; you just don’t know where.
Next time you see her, smile and say, “Good morning” softly. Don’t grin like a fool and don’t linger. Without being obvious, note what time she arrived and from what direction. Also, watch where she goes.
I call this “benign stalking.”
Continue this process. Adding commentary in small increments. Always acknowledge her. See if she’s wearing a wedding band (check both hands). Maybe, sometime during the day, you’ll have an opportunity to explore to see if you can locate her. Take a file folder with you (or some other relevant artifact) when you’re doing this. If you see her, again, smile and say “Hello.”
Soon enough, if there’s any connection, you’ll be conversing with her. When you get to that point, write back.
