My Saturday Night, Part 3
My job is more demanding than hers. She doesn’t understand how much pressure I’m under right now. Why doesn’t she get that?
Both members of a troubled couple asked me this same question on Saturday night. Clearly, they both feel neglected and misunderstood. One asked while the other was outside making a phone call; one asked while the other steamed off to stand in the parking lot because she was pissed.
Where to begin …
It is important to respect the educational and/or career choices of your girlfriend/partner. Ideally, both of you should be pursuing courses of study/careers that elicit passion and dedication. Unfortunately, economic forces and life circumstances might not always permit this.
Still, choose a girlfriend/partner that is dedicated to her education/career — no matter what that career choice is (given the circumstances) — and you’ll choose a girlfriend that you know possesses the traits of dedication and devotion.
[The lack of either dedication or devotion should be a deal-beaker, by the way.]
No college major/job is menial or trivial if it is pursued or practiced with dedication and competence.
If she isn’t a slacker, respect what she does. Support and encourage her. Thinking that your classes/career are more important, more relevant, more exacting is selfish and base.
And, it’s not about salary or responsibility. If she devotes herself to her schoolwork/job, you should be proud of her — and you should tell her so frequently and sincerely.
Don’t belittle her; don’t paint yourself to be more important than she is.
On the other hand, don’t seriously date someone without clear career educational/professional goals if you are a dedicated student/professional. You’ll both get frustrated and hurt: she’ll feel like a loser and blame you for it, while you’ll feel like a frustrated parent. Neither feeling is compatible with a mutually beneficial relationship.
- Avoid women who hate their current jobs but won’t make a career change. The constant complaining about a situation that can be changed will drive you to despise her over time.
- Avoid women who are so dedicated and devoted to their careers that you just serve as a mode of sexual release or a housekeeper.
- Avoid women who have had a privileged upbringing but prefer the couch to a job and self-pity to action.
- Seek women who have achieved a balance between their professional and personal lives.
- Seek women who respect your educational/career choices and who freely demonstrate this respect.
- Seek women who will help you succeed professionally by offering a continuous supply of encouragement, understanding, and assistance.
