Girlfriend’s Horrid Mother
Dear Dyke Whisperer, My girlfriend’s mother is a horrible person. At first, I used to think she just hated me, but I’ve had the opportunity to see her treat everyone like shit. To keep the peace in our apartment, I’m going to buy her a Christmas present. What should I get her?
Insincere in Detroit
Dear Insincere,
Buy her some fancy scented candles that have a strong, wretched aroma. Sulphur would be an excellent choice. Make sure to wrap them in an elaborate fashion.
