Tainted by Association?
Dear Dyke Whisperer, For the last month, a woman has been pursuing me very enthusiastically. She’s really not my type, but she’s very genuine and nice. She listens to me and cares about me. We’ve been getting closer, and I know she likes me.
So, three nights ago, we had a conversation where we talked about some of our biggest regrets. One of mine is having sex with the one lesbian in town that everyone seems to disrespect. It was a stupid drunken decision I made over a year ago.
Since that conversation, the woman who was interested in me has stopped calling and only texts me when I text her first. It just hasn’t been the same between us. When I told her this, I could see that it really bothered her. She tried to hide it, but she was pretty upset. What should I do?
Sorry in Stillwater
Dear Sorry,
Sometimes, our attraction to a woman can diminish or stop if we find out that she’s had sex with someone we find repulsive, corrupt, or otherwise flawed. It might not seem logical, but attraction doesn’t function on rationality.
I suggest you give her some time. She’s probably processing the conversation. She might realize that you are not tainted by a single drunken act; however, she might lose interest altogether. It depends on
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The depth of her feelings for you at this time;
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How disgusted she is with the woman with whom you had sex; and
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Her ability and willingness to view you beyond your association with this other woman
Let her mull this over. Text her a couple of times during the day but keep it light. If she wants to discuss the drunken encounter further and you’re agreeable to that, keep your explanation as short and emotionless as possible. Just say it was a mistake. Take responsibility and try to move on. Don’t provide details of the encounter.
