Maintenance Sex
Dear Dyke Whisperer, I’ve had a close friend since college. We dated briefly. Whenever we’re both single, we have casual sex (over the last 9 years). Once one of us is in a relationship together, we completely stop any sexual contact. Now, I’ve met a wonderful woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am totally in love with her. Should I tell her about the casual sex with my friend or should I not?
JA in Cleveland
Dear JA,
Tell the woman you love everything about the “close friend.” EVERYTHING. Realize that if the woman of your dreams finds out without you telling her, your relationship will be tainted forever and will be either over or well on its way to being over.
Then tell her it is NEVER going to happen again. Explain that you no longer have the desire for casual sex after being in love with such a fantastic woman.
Avoid being alone with your long-time “special” friend: no weekend trips. If she visits or if you all visit her, don’t have long chats in private — EVER. You objective is to make sure the woman you love is comfortable with the situation.
