The Dyke Whisperer

If you’re with your girlfriend/partner/wife because you’re either (1) waiting for someone better to come along; (2) too lazy to find someone new; (3) able to dominate her completely; or (4) a con-artist, you’re an asshole. Telling her “I love you” is despicable.

If you’re with someone even though you know any of the above to be true, you deserve to be with an asshole. Telling her “I love you” is really pathetic.

The phrase “unconditional love” is overused, especially by the young. Unconditional love may not be a healthy state, if the conditions you are ignoring/overlooking/discounting involve infidelity, violence, substance abuse, and addiction to turmoil.

Love is one state; obsession is another. It is wise not to confuse the two.

Too many lesbians spend too much time on unrequited love.

1. Tell her you like her.
2. Wait for it to sink in.
3. If she likes you, it will be obvious.
4. If she doesn’t like you, it will be obvious.
5. “Mixed signals” means she doesn’t really like you.

If you never make it to Step #1, you don’t deserve her — and, honestly, can you say that you really love her?