Caught in a Lie
Dear Dyke Whisperer, I made a mistake. I told my girlfriend that I was not communicating with my ex, but I was. My girlfriend found out and left me. I’d do anything to get her back. How do you start trying to get someone back?
Desperate in Nashville
Dear Desperate,
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You need to apologize for lying, several times. Don’t try to justify why you were lying. It doesn’t matter. Apologize in person if she’ll see you (but don’t just show up where she works). Write an apology in a card/letter and send it to her. Send her an apologetic e-mail message. Apologize on all of your social networking sites (if you have any). Reword these website apologies everyday. Just apologize for lying. That’s it.
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Wait for her reaction. After your apology blitz, you must wait. This is incredibly difficult but is necessary. Let it sink in for her.
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If she accepts your apology, be grateful and LET IT GO. Never mention the situation again. Now, you can work on trying to win her back. Don’t be aggressive; be persistent. Be kind, be romantic, be sincere, and be solicitous. You are on probation.
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If she tells you to go to hell, stop trying. If you still want to get back together 6 months from now, give it another shot.
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If she is silent, wait two weeks and commence the second apology blitz. Again, try to meet with her in person, send out a letter/card, send out an apologetic e-mail message, apologize like crazy on MySpace, Facebook, etc. If she STILL won’t react, wait 6 months and try it again if you still want her back.
The biggest mistake women make when they’ve been caught lying is to try to justify the lie. This is insulting. Don’t do it. If she wants an explanation, say that you did a stupid thing, she’s the only woman you want, and you’re sorry. The explanation of the lie –especially if it involves another lie — will likely either prolong the unpleasantness or produce additional strife.
