Relationship Imbalance?
Dear Dyke Whisperer, I have been with my partner for four years. We get along, we don’t fight, and we don’t complain. However, it is becoming obvious to me that I love her more than she loves me. I often surprise her with little gifts and notes. I always make it a point to tell her I love her. She appreciates my gifts and notes, and she’ll respond that she loves me too. She also never gives me little gifts or tells me she loves me without me saying it first. I’m starting to wonder whether I made a good choice in partners.
Depressed in Denver
Dear Depressed,
Your partner just might not be as expressive and open as you. Now, if she didn’t appreciate or acknowledge your efforts, that would be different. If you told her that you love her and she left the room, that’s different as well.
There are plenty of reasons to doubt someone and/or break up. The reasons you mention are not sufficient. If she’s there for you when you need her, if she is loving in her own quiet way, if she is faithful and kind, if she cherishes you, then she is a good partner and deserves the respect and love you offered her in the past.
If you believe you need more out of the relationship, that’s a legitimate concern; however, the “more” you seek shouldn’t be related to “little gifts and notes.”
Reconsider your situation. I believe that you are omitting some important information about your relationship, you have found another woman who is giving you plenty of attention, or you resent your partner for something more significant.
