Caught in an Act
Dear Dyke Whisperer, My girlfriend claims that she saw me masturbating in my sleep. She’s upset now because she thinks she doesn’t satisfy me sexually. I’m just confused, but it’s starting to really piss me off. Any suggestions?
Sleep Perv in Kew Gardens
Dear Sleep Perv,
You are NOT responsible for what you do in your sleep or what you dream about. That being said, just tell your girlfriend that, occasionally, you have these REALLY erotic dreams about her. Remind her that she’s your girlfriend and that no one else matters to you sexually. Also, tell her that she’s fantastic in your dreams but better in real life.
