Buffer Time
Dear Dyke Whisperer, My live-in girlfriend and I have been arguing way too much lately. It seems like any little thing will set one or both of us off. I love her very much, but we’ve both been under a lot of stress. I don’t know what to do.
Keri in Lincoln
Dear Keri,
Work on calming yourself. That’s all you can control. Think of an image, find a photo, have a song handy that makes you happy and content. It might be a good idea to temporarily have some “buffer” time between when you finish work (I’m assuming you’re both working) and when you see her at home.
Maybe go to the gym, a park, a coffee-shop (for a small coffee or tea), or a neighborhood tavern (for one or two beers). Maybe go to the grocery store (unless that stresses you out) and grab some fruit for dessert or wine for dinner. Just engage in some mindless activity that allows you to calm down.
See how this works for you. Encourage her to do the same. Maybe alternate — with one of you going directly home to lie down and de-stress, while the other de-stresses in one of the ways mentioned above.
It’s difficult sometimes to make the transition between work and home.
