Weight Control
Dear Dyke Whisperer,
How do I tell my girlfriend that she’s putting on weight?
H.H. in Charleston
Dear H.,
Don’t. Tell her that you’re concerned that YOU’RE putting on weight / getting a little flabby (whichever is more appropriate). Be enthusiastic about YOUR new (or improved) diet, exercise, and overall health program. Tell her that you’ll only be preparing, eating, or ordering certain food / menu items until you achieve your goals.
Ask her to join you in your exercise routine. MAKE SURE SHE’LL BE ABLE TO DO IT. Depending on her fitness level, just ask her to join you for a walk to “warm up” or “cool down” (if you’re actually in good shape and exercise regularly).
Tell her that you want to complete a 3K, 5K, mini-marathon, triathlon, etc. (depending on YOUR fitness level). And, since she inspires you, you’d like her support and company.
DON’T EVER pressure her, belittle her, or try to humiliate her.
Make this about YOU, and, unless she has some emotional driver behind overeating or a physical problem that makes exercise unbearable, she should want to join you IF YOU MAKE IT FUN, DOABLE, PURPOSEFUL, and ABOUT YOU.
Now, she might refuse. I’m assuming she’s a rational adult so, if she refuses, that’s it. YOUR choice is whether you want to accept her as she is or not.
Hmmm. not sure about this one. do you think she (the one writing in) should say she has a weight problem because you think she honestly does, and its a case of projecting how she feels onto her girlf, or is it more about passive/agressive tactics…?
You know, without knowing these two, I have to assume that the writer is providing an honest assessment of the situation. Yes, she may be projecting. Yes, she may be manipulative and/or shallow.
I hope the writer is simply a woman who wants her girlfriend to be more healthy but does not find weight to be a deciding factor in whether the relationship lasts or not.
The truth is it is easier to maintain your weight than it is to lose excess pounds and the heavier you become the harder the weight loss becomes. Even though many people know this subconsciously very few actually plan to ensure that weight gain doesn’t happen to them.