Coming Out, Part 7
I feel particularly sorry for those of you faced with coming out to fundamentalist parents, regardless if they are well meaning people and regardless of the particular sect they are affiliated with. Religious zealots ARE zealots because they have relegated individual decision-making to a code of morals that is interpreted by a charismatic, power-hungry, emotionally twisted leader — who is skilled at manipulating the “word of God” to influence his/her obedient flock into not only funding his/her lavish lifestyle but applying inflexible (to others) “holy” or “moral” principles to any situation that may occur.
[Pardon my forthcoming sarcasm.]
We all know that homosexuality is SO evil that even GOD didn’t have the stomach to mention it in His commandments to Moses. It is so heinous that Jesus didn’t even want to address it. “Love one another” — but not in THAT way, is what he meant to say.
The prospect of homosexuality is so distasteful to religious fundamentalists that some feel the need to actually engage in it privately — just so they can reaffirm their devotion to their religious principles when they are caught. Brave moral soldiers are they.
[End of sarcasm.]
Fundamentalists believe that God showers them with prosperity as long as they are devoted, tithe, occasionally handle snakes, have numerous spiritual wives, fly jets in buildings, murder innocent mothers and children, start wars based on lies, torture, rape, exploit, and intimidate — all in the name of the prophet of their choice.
Now, how do you handle this craziness? You don’t; you can’t. Your coming-out will be “proof” that your parents are immoral. “You will know them by their fruit.” They’ll hate you for embarrassing them in front of their pious peers, who are probably closet perverts, adulterers, whore-mongers, and evil assholes.
They’ll tell you to pray. They’ll want to send you to one of those despicable “de-programming” camps. By the way, if you’re ever in the need for raw sex and reckless behavior, date one of those de-programmed lesbians, if you can find one that’s not too doped up on prescription drugs and cheap bourbon to perform.
Distance is key. I suggest that you wait until you’re away from home (at college, for example) to tell them, either in person or in a letter (no e-mails, please). Tell them at the beginning of a semester. You’ll have another place to live so you won’t have to live with friends or sympathetic relatives. Be prepared to spend Christmas with other gay friends who have been abandoned by their parents.
Don’t, however, leave one prison — one cage — to enter another one, namely the prison of a romantic relationship now occurring in hyperdrive because you have been kicked out, financially cut off, or generally disowned. Coming-out is a personal process that is about YOU, not about you and your girlfriend. Coming-out is about YOUR freedom, which should NOT be abandoned for the temporary comfort of a domineering or subservient girlfriend. Be YOU first, before you attempt to be part of an “US.” If you don’t, “us” won’t last — and you might face the prospect of searching for the perceived comfort of yet another prison.
