The Seduction Aftermath
You have your friends to confide in. The straight woman probably won’t confide in her friends (at first and maybe never) that she’s had sex with a woman. Don’t be an asshole. Call her first. Invite her to lunch. Bring her a bottle of wine or a small gift.
You have done this before; she hasn’t. It’s a BIG deal. Sex is not just sex. She has never felt this way or experienced the (wondrous) physical sensations involved with lesbian sex. Let her reflect and discuss things with you at her leisure and to her contentment. Some women are moved to tears because they are so overwhelmed. Be compassionate, patient and supportive.
Don’t dwell on the past. Don’t mention your ex-girlfriends unless one of them is on TV or in a movie that you’re currently watching. Really, no one cares. If she brings up ex-boyfriends, change the subject. DON’T get all crazy and pissed off though.
Don’t dwell on the future. No, you may not have a Canadian wedding in your future. You may not have the next weekend. Relax. Don’t tell her about the RV, beach-house, little bar, etc. that you’ve ALWAYS planned to open with the love or your life. Those are YOUR plans and, even though you’ve worked out EVERY detail in your mind, she doesn’t need to hear them now. She doesn’t need to “fit” into your mapped-out existence and, to assume she does, is insulting as hell.
Don’t assume that you can make plans for her now. She probably doesn’t want to see you play City-League softball or have a pedicure with you at this time.
Don’t rush to introduce her to every lesbian you’re on speaking terms with in the next 24 hours. We all have some scary (however you want to define that) friends. We’re just used to them because they’re our friends, and we love them. Wait a while. Introduce her to one or two (at the most) at a time — OVER time. Avoid couples: both the new couples who make out in front of everybody all the time and the couples who simply tolerate each other because they don’t want to deal with the hassle of breaking up. DON’T take her to a wild lesbian party. DON’T take her to a sedate lesbian barbecue. Baby-steps. You MUST be patient f you want this to last.
Turn your cell off. If you cannot, tell her who is calling you / texting you. Then, tell that person that you’re busy and can’t talk / text. Then, TURN OFF THE FUCKING PHONE.
Don’t stalk her. Ever.
Enjoy your moments together.
Enjoy her enthusiasm.
Enjoy introducing her to new experiences. This is what it’s all about. This has the ability to brighten every harsh moment you will ever have to endure.
Enjoy the present. It’s really all you have and all that matters.
Enjoy turning your cell phone the fuck off. Do you really need to be THAT accessible? Please …
