The Friend’s Ex
Dear Dyke Whisperer, I recently got out of a 4-year relationship and want to start dating again. The very recent ex of one of my close friends is an attractive and easy-going woman. I think we could be really good together. Do you think it’s okay if I ask her out?
RJ in Toronto
Dear RJ,
I think it’s “okay.” It’s more a question of how this dating may affect your social circle and if you care. What you’re describing is certainly common in lesbian groups.
Some advice:
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Make sure your friend and her ex are truly broken up. If you start dating and they get back together, you will be shifted out of their lives, at least for a substantial time;
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Don’t get drunk and pounce on your friend’s ex, even if she wants to be pounced upon. She could use the pouncing incident to receive sympathy from her ex, making you appear to be a sexual predator;
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Don’t focus all your attention on this one woman. Having just ended a long-term relationship, you may not yet be ready to evaluate suitable partners for yourself.
