Rich Lesbian, Poor Lesbian
Income disparity within a lesbian couple is an extremely difficult challenge to overcome in the long run. If one woman owns the house and has substantially greater assets/income compared to her lover, the relationship rarely lasts longer than a few years, at most — unless, of course, the relationship is founded on the principles of S&M or B&D (I’ll leave that discussion for another day).
The lesbian with the assets impresses the other with her house, bank account, and promise of an easier life. The problem is that this type of relationship has the potential to reflect a transaction: if you love me, I will support you; if I support you, you will obey me. One lesbian assumes total control over the lifestyle and living conditions of the other. This is neither healthy nor sustainable (outside of a fetish lifestyle).
A woman who owns a house tells her lover who has agreed to move in that “this is your house now.” Well, no it’s not unless the other woman’s name is legally added to the deed (this is a simple and relatively inexpensive process, by the way). The owner of house can kick the other out at any time. If the owner dies, her family can throw the other woman out at any time.
A woman whose “love” is kindled by material prospects and the thoughts of an easier life is objectifying herself. Objects are easy to replace with newer and prettier objects. There is no real security in this relationship for the woman who lacks assets and earning power.
As for the “generous” benefactor of the relationship, resentment will build every time the woman that is supported argues with her, disobeys her. The financially-independent woman always wins every argument and fight, though, just by mentioning that her partner would be living a shitty existence had it not been for her generosity.
Losing every argument and feeling like an object seems to be a common motivator for infidelity, by the way. The financially-dependent lesbian may feel her only and best recourse is to have sex with her benefactor’s friend, family member, or co-worker. Humiliated women want to humiliate too.
Every relationship has a resentment limit. When reached, the couple really doesn’t care about each other — they may actually hate each other — but might stay together because (1) it’s convenient; (2) replacements haven’t been identified; or (3) identified replacements aren’t available. Resentment seems to build up more rapidly in relationships where there is an income/asset disparity.
The most violent, bitter, hostile break-ups I have witnessed have occurred in these relationships.
