Only Skin Deep
Dear Dyke Whisperer, My partner, who is loving and kind, has her ex’s name tattooed on the back of her shoulder. It drives me crazy! Every time we are intimate, my eyes get locked onto the ex’s name, and it’s all I can do to continue. She doesn’t want to get it removed because she thinks the procedure is too costly and painful. What do you suggest?
Pissed in Portland
Dear Pissed,
Let’s think for a moment. First, your partner can’t readily see the name so it’s not like nostalgia and/or longing is being triggered constantly.
Second, maybe the tattoo has special significance to her. That doesn’t mean she wants to reconcile with the ex. They obviously had a strong relationship at one point in the past.
Third, maybe you can suggest having a tattoo artist alter the tattoo so that the name isn’t apparent.
Fourth, you could always ask her to wear a small piece of duct tape. No, I’m not serious.
Fifth, you could consider the tattoo to be a physical defect, a scar — a symbol of lessons learned in her journey to becoming your loving partner now.
You are together. The ink from a tattoo didn’t penetrate her heart. That’s your objective. Stop fixating on the superficial (literally) and start enjoying the reality of having a great partner!
