Post-Graduate Style
Dear Dyke Whisperer, I’m 26 and will graduate with an MBA in May. I’m a very casual person, and my choice in clothes reflects this. I wear jeans and t-shirts when it’s warm; jeans and sweaters/sweatshirts when it’s cool. My footwear is always (stereotypically) sensible. The problem is: I’m about to enter “the real world” and have no idea what I should wear. I mean, I know what I’m expected to wear, but I don’t think I’ll be comfortable in “office clothes.” Do you have any advice for me?
Fashion-Challenged in Pittsburgh (I couldn’t think of any cool alliteration. Sorry.)
Dear Pittsburgh,
If you have the financial means, consider purchasing designer clothes. Classics (shirts and pants) from Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein are appropriate for the office and will last years if you take care of them (don’t put these clothing items in the dryer — ever). Choose natural fibers: the same cotton that is used in your jeans or t-shirts, linen, silk, hemp, combinations of these. By all means, wait for sales. It takes time to build a wardrobe but always choose quality over quantity. Buy one or two blazers, which will dress up any outfit.
Make sure these clothes fit you properly. If you’re not sure, take a fashionable friend along to offer guidance. But, whatever this friend suggests, make sure you like the item and you are comfortable. You don’t want a closet full of clothes you’ll never wear. Also, try to bond with a friendly, knowledgeable sales person. He/she will prove to be a valuable asset if you are truly fashion-challenged.
Having a great haircut/style and classic/distinctive accessories (depending on your personality and work environment) also help in creating a more polished look. Your shoes can remain sensible but opt for classic styles and colors again: black, brown, tan to co-ordinate with your belts.
Generally, your socks should be lighter in shade that your pants. Don’t wear white socks unless you are engaging in a sport or a physical activity. Don’t ever wear white socks to work. Yes, socks are available in other colors besides white.
Don’t wear novelty socks. You’ll have an MBA. If you try to appear “cute” at work by wearing some childish clothing items or accessories, you’ll be perceived as an idiot in the corporate world.
Wait until you are either (1) recognized as undeniably brilliant; (2) considered indispensable; (3) universally loved; (4) universally admired; (5) independently wealthy; (6) own the company; (7) related to the owner of the company; or (8) able to extort the owner of the company before dressing in an eccentric manner at work. Success and/or admiration will magically transform you. If you dress bizarrely under the above conditions, your associates will marvel at your creativity and artistic side. Before then, you’ll be regarded as mentally feeble, insignificant, and rebellious if you choose to ignore the implicit dress code of the corporate world.
Use jewelry to express yourself but nothing too flashy or crazy while at work.
The more established you become and the more dazzling you are, the sooner you can reject all of the above advice (gradually though) and wear whatever the hell you want to wear. Opting for local, rather than corporate jobs (if that’s an option), will afford you greater flexibility in clothing choices from the start of your post-graduate career.
When going on an interview, sit in the parking lot or inconspicuously loiter in an area where you can see the present employees enter or leave the building housing your intended employer. Notice what they’re wearing and dress like that. Also, this will give you an opportunity and excuse to physically evaluate the women who work there, and, if your gaydar is sharp, provide you some indication of who you should hit on if hired.
If the first thing that comes to mind after reading all this is “Well, fuck that,” then consider employment outside the corporate world. Positions at non-profit organizations will offer you the opportunity to be less formal, more often (although in certain positions and for certain functions you might actually have to present yourself more formally).
Also, as I mentioned above, you could use your MBA to assist a local organization. Dress codes, formal or informal, might not even be in existence. Or, alternatively, try to work in a more progressive firm, where individuality is encouraged. Then you can dress as casually as you desire. Still, don’t wear white socks.
In any case, best wishes to you and congratulations on your impending graduation!
