Girl Needs to be Interrupted
Dear Dyke Whisperer, I’m attracted to one of my best friend’s girlfriend, and she’s attracted to me. What should I do about it? She tells me that she isn’t happy in her current relationship. I tried to tell her that I can’t be interested in her, but she keeps pursuing me. I’m single, by the way.
Resisting in Richmond
Dear Resisting,
Stop it. Now. As Yoda says, There is no “trying.” You are in the process of betraying your friend. You are setting yourself up to be justifiably labeled — in negative terms — among your friends for as long as they know you. Further, worst of all, you are demonstrating a remarkable low level of self-respect.
Why would you even consider becoming involved with another woman’s girlfriend? Being alone is preferable. Abandon your role as confidante immediately.
Need some tactical advice? To get her to stop pursuing you, simply stare intently and directly into her nostrils every time she talks to you. This will be most disconcerting to the pursuer and will make her feel extremely uncomfortable and self-conscious. After a while, she won’t even want to be in the same room with you.
Better, yet, just tell her: “I’m sorry if I misled you in any way. I think [insert friend's name here] is a great woman, and I wish you two all the best.” Then, walk away. Don’t be rude, just walk away.
Don’t be alone with her. Don’t accept her calls. Don’t answer her texts. Don’t whine about this. Don’t make foolish promises. A woman who would pursue the friend of her girlfriend has no relationship value whatsoever.
